“Enter the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the path that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13
My parents met at Sunday School in the 1950s but fell away from the church for a long while. Regardless of their lapse, my brother and I were taken to Sunday School at a local Baptist church on a weekly basis throughout our childhood. I spent most of the services wishing the event would quickly wrap up so I could scoot across the road, buy a packet of orange Space Dust and feel my brain snap, crackle & pop courtesy of the sugary crystals.
By the age of 14 I did not want to attend Sunday School anymore and kicked off about it at home. Church was just not a cool pastime to be involved in. I preferred to spend time on my CB radio and meeting boys I had chatted up over the airwaves. Amazingly one day my parents said I didn’t have to go to Sunday School any longer. “Whooopeee!”. I broke out into a jig around the living room… only for my elation to be short lived. Plan B was immediately put into action and I was then forced to accompany my parents to their “grown up” church to which they had recently returned.
I was bored out of my brain during sermons and tired of being ridiculed by my non church-going friends. Although I always believed in God and never wavered from the conviction of the higher power, the one who created all living things, the church had in no way moulded me into a true Christian. Around this time I chose Religious Education as one of my GSCE options at school. My goal was to study the gospels using my small Gideon bible during church services with no-one suspecting my ulterior motive. Ever the efficient time manager, I passed my examination with a B grade.
Backing up a little, I had been interested in the occult since I was in single figures and had experienced a few psychic occurrences which piqued my curiosity. I lived for Wednesdays when “Misty” comic went on sale, a girl’s publication I had been drawn to for its creepy supernatural tales. I studied its horoscope section and got drawn into fortune telling thanks to its articles and free gifts. I recall laying out a pack of regular playing cards along my bedroom window sill for divination purposes, impatient for the day when I was old enough to buy a deck of tarot.
At the age of 15 I got involved with the Ouija board after trying it out at a friend’s house and watching in fearful awe of the moving glass spelling out answers to our questions. I was hooked on this “game” for a while and even made my own small board out of a piece of wood. Very quickly, whatever sinister entities had been roused, singled me out for very negative attention and lied horribly about my future. I remember being very scared one day after school when I was home alone. I was almost passing out with nerves about the whole frightening affair. A friend took the board away and set fire to it in her back garden and I never touched one again. Having said that, my interest in the occult remained, primarily with the vast consumption of horror films and books up until my Christian conversion.
At the age of 24 I had Roman Catholic instruction in order to join the faith as encouraged by my first husband. He was from an Irish Catholic family and I thought my one chance at marriage may be shot if I refused to convert. In truth, I did not mind this switch over too much at the time since I found the Catholic church more peaceful and less “in your face” than the church services I had been attending. The mature nun who guided me in the catechism was a lovely lady and told me that Catholicism is secondary to a relationship with God. And so I was married in the Catholic church and attended it for many years. I have to confess I never confessed. In the confessional box that is. I never felt happy with the thought of stepping into the dark space. As I know now, the only intermediary between us and God is Jesus, not a priest, and that the Vatican Council dupes millions of good people with its false and paganistic teachings.
At the age of 36 I felt a pull to learn Reiki, the art of hands on healing for mind, body and spirit and later I went on to become a master teacher in it. This way, as well as treating clients I could now attune others through its symbolic ritual so they too could become intuitive healers. Being attuned to Reiki opened up a lot of psychic ability in me and I was amazed at how I much knew about people I had never met before. I received much positive feedback from recipients but what I was doing was absolutely not of God, no matter how good the healing appeared to feel. This is how the new age deception works to draw people in deeper. God was never part of the therapeutic healing process, for the gospel of Matthews teaches us that we cannot serve two masters.
As well as Reiki I was involved in all manner of esoteric practices such as astrology, yoga including kundalini, meditation including “om” chanting, alien communication, the law of attraction, astral travel, lucid dreaming, oracle cards, crystal divination, psychic readings and Feng Shui. I regularly blogged on these subjects and new age principles directed my life for the next 11 years. I would try out many different holistic therapies such as shamanic soul retrieval and by putting my head in a light box of changing colours to balance my chakras (energy centres).
After much soul searching in 2008 I left my stressful 14 year marriage. I went to live alone in a modern city centre apartment and began to attend a large Anglican church. I enjoyed the teachings yet I never lessened my involvement in mysticism. Five months after moving into my apartment I started dating Franc, now my husband, who I already loosely knew from work. I thought it was way too soon to be romantically involved again and although I found him very attractive I tried to put him off by suggesting we just spent some time as friends. He agreed to this, however after spending a fun day together around the city I knew he was someone special and we married on my birthday in 2014.
In 2017 at the age of 48 I began to feel uneasy with my new age lifestyle and asked myself searching questions. The fact that my thoughts on all these subjects I had been enjoying were now changing was inexplicable since I believed I would be on the “spiritual path” for life. I felt more and more uncomfortable with myself but I could not explain why. I know now that the Holy Spirit was gently working on me. Contrary to what the new age movement teaches, there are not “many paths to God“. There is only way to God and that is through Christ who boldly stated “I am the truth, the way and the life and nobody comes to the Father except through me”.
I knew what the bible had to say about witchcraft, sorcery and about its warnings against being deceived by devils masquerading as angels, but for so long I had been under the erroneous impression that the holy book had been extensively doctored in order to frighten, disempower and control the masses. I believed heavy edits had been applied to warn people off of accessing higher power within themselves; from becoming their own “gods” so to speak.
Prior to a weekend trip to Liverpool in June 2017 I prayed something like “Dear God, you know how much I pay attention to signs. If I am truly meant to leave all my alternative practices behind and only follow You through Christ, then please show me a picture of Jesus during this trip. Amen”.
At 4 pm on the last day of the trip I was in the Tate Gallery with my family when I saw a small William Blake painting of Jesus nailed to the cross. There were no other religious artworks on any of the walls at that time; in fact we had only gone to the gallery to see Tracy Emin’s famous “Unmade Bed“.
I was not surprised that my request to see a picture of Jesus had been granted for I knew deep inside there was a huge change happening within me. I recalled only a month prior I had asked God if it was true that Christ was the only way to Him. The next morning I felt guided to read the bible every morning before going to work instead of doing Yoga. I just wanted to have further visible confirmation that God was in fact leading me to the truth!
As it turned out, the day I saw the Blake painting happened to be Pentecost, the celebratory day in the Christian calendar when Jesus appeared to his disciples following his physical death. One of the function rooms in our Liverpool hotel was given over to a church gathering celebrating this poignant festival.
Following that northern trip I became a Christian. I renounced all my occultism and prayed for spiritual renewal through forgiveness and with this heartfelt action, my psychic abilities immediately left me. Now I purely receive God’s communication as He leads me to a greater spiritual understanding or to what He wants me to do. For example, I can be praying, when a certain person is clearly brought to my attention to be included at that time. During my many years in occultism where I was distanced from God He told me “I kept you safe”. His love was never withheld.
When I made the commitment to fully surrender my life to Christ I was demonically attacked several times, mostly as I slept. These attacks were alarming and vicious and I would wake up terrified in the middle of the night. I have also been targeted whilst sat in church, by way of induced feelings of intense hatred and shame towards myself out of the blue. Satan and the fallen angels are furious when they loses one of their crew, even if we are not aware we are working with them. Alistair Crowley, the famous Satanist, wrote how he loved the fact that new agers with their mystical minds and tools were doing the devil’s work and spreading it far and wide.
One day after being demonically attacked I asked God why I had been so drawn into the occult in the first place since none my ancestors, immediate family or young friends had been interested in witchcraft. That evening I had an insightful dream where I clearly saw a poster I used to have on my bedroom wall as a young child. It was an item I would never have recalled if it was not now being brought to my attention. The poster was a promotional freebie from an Esso garage and my version was this particular tiger image (minus the additional Fun Book text here).
I feel that this childhood poster had been cursed in some way prior to its distribution. Bestowing a curse or casting a spell is very real and can have a detrimental effect on the subject, whether or not they are aware of it. In the past I had clairvoyantly seen several clients affected by black magic or even physically suffering purely from intense spiteful thoughts directed at them. As Christians we need not fear evil for 1 John 4.4 tells us “Greater is He (Holy Spirit) that is in us than he (Satan) who is in the world.”
The tools of the new age give their users an illusion of being in control of their lives and makes them feel spiritually knowledgable, arrogant even. When you come to Jesus the Christ you will see just how cunning and empty the movement is.
No-one who comes to God with an open heart is ever rejected by Him no matter what has gone before. All our past misdeeds are forgiven if we are willing to turn from them all and make a commitment to follow Him through his son Jesus. When we do, our souls are filled with pure grace in readiness for Christ’s return when all His followers will join him in the perfection of His heavenly kingdom. In the meantime we are assisted greatly as we live our earthly lives because whilst Christian living is beautiful and fulfilling, it can indeed be very challenging! I give all glory to God for saving me and know I still have so much more to learn.
If you are interested in getting to know Jesus I invite you to…
Read Matthew, Mark, Luke & John in the New Testament of the Bible – try the New King James version.
Pray daily – see this link for beginners to prayer: https://travellingveganchristian.wordpress.com/2017/12/27/why-pray/
Seek a local Christian church you feel uplifted and supported in.
You Tube Christian teachers I recommend:
Philia Ministries https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQRFecY0YwbXCFtTwNddXcw
In Touch Ministries https://youtube.com/channel/UCXL6kvDyoQpvtaeafC4pLyg
May God bless you greatly.
Lots of love, Lana x